Focus... Focus...

I am feeling unfocused as of late. That and a bit soft.. I'll get to that part later. Ever since I have returned from my mini-break away from this town.. I have been feeling a bit less than motivated. This seems to be a symptom of my unfocused attitude and demeanor. I just cannot stay focused enough to get through a day without feeling a bit worn down or out of it. I just don't know what has happened exactly.

I had a chance to step out-side my little bubble and see this place from a distance for a bit. It kind of made me a bit sad that I have been here so long. Once, upon a time.. I was that guy that said he would do everything that he wanted to do.. so that I couldn't look back and wish that I had. I know we all say that, and life happens .. but I actually did it for awhile.. from 17 until about 22 I was traveling the States and meeting people and learning things. Then I found myself in Las Vegas and have basically been here ever since. (yes.. 10 years)

I know that I am here for a reason, it affords me a life-style to be able to help support my family, and live comfortably. It also appeals to the child in me that wants what he wants, when he wants it.. thus the happy attitude towards a 24 hour kind of town. With the current state of the economy though... I am not feeling so good about being here. I would never just "up and leave," but what do I do? I have been working 2 different jobs to try and supplement what I am doing.. I suppose that is a main part of how tired and un-motivated I have become. I am seriously contemplating letting the nightclub thing go..

What is going to happen, is that I am going to buck up and make it happen. Like I have always managed to do. It's not as bad as it seems, and I refuse to perpetuate what is going on with more misery, so I need to snap out of it and get off of my ass ...and this comfy computer desk-chair... and get going. The gym calls and I have not been there regularly for some time.

Which brings me to another point. I am soft.. like soft in the not-worked out sense. There was a time when I did not work-out.. and I guess I was ok with it. Then I hit the "Durty Thirty".. as it has been called.. I decided to whip it into shape. I did so and made a big change in many ways to myself and personal image, not to mention personal health. I just need to get back to that.

A main focus has always been to watch my refined sugar intake.. it makes me so lazy and fat. So I am back to cutting them out on all but one day. (I just have to decide which day) That also includes white starches and refined flours.. you know.. the good stuff. So I will keep you informed on that. I know you all can't wait. hah..jk... Well, that is enough whining I suppose. Good talk! :) See you on the next post.. Hope to hear from some of you.